You’d think I could get a job but…

I want to get a job in Germany. Or France. Or Great Britain. Something that puts me in a time zone and proximity to Raven so that we’re not 7 hours separated, not to mention that 6,000 mile thing.

Oh no. Lots of jobs, and more red tape and BS than I want to type out.

Here’s my “work history” that never seems to make a bit of difference.
1. I’m a “stable” employee, meaning I get a job and I plan to stay there. In the US, as often as people change jobs, that’s saying something. Me? Treat me fairly and I’ll stay and work for you for years. I made one huge jump from General Motors (where I was a combination line worker/Rescue Tech) to full-time Field Paramedic, but even then I stayed with one place for many years before moving to Texas.

2. I’m never late for work. Let me be clear on this. I don’t mean I arrive “right on the hour” or I only come in 1 minute or so after that. I mean I’m never late. I arrive early – 30 minutes or so – and by the time my shift starts I’m already at work.

I mentioned to my current boss that I’ve been working at this place for the better part of 5 years and I have never punched in late, and he actually went to check my statement. We have a policy that you can be up to 9 minutes “late” and punch in and you don’t get an occurence. There are people that don’t punch in “on time” 5 days in a row. Do the math. If someone worked 48 weeks out of the year (allowing for vacation, holidays, etc.) that’s 240 days. At 9 minutes a day that’s 36 hours you can screw the company out of – almost another full week – and not get penalized.

But as I said, I’m never late. And in all my years, you’ll be hard pressed to find any supervisor I’ve worked for that can show you a day I *have* been late.

3. I won’t do poor-quality work. I just won’t. I will do it correctly and if I need questions answered I will seek those answers so that I do the job I’m asked to do, and do it well. Oh, and I don’t care what I’m doing – I take pride in my work. So if someone in Europe needs a floor-mopper that’s going to make the floors shine like mirrors (even if they are dirt floors dammit) – I would be that guy.

There’s more. I’m highly motivated to work and be successful. I would understand that it would be expensive to move to Germany, and a company would be investing a lot of trust and money by taking a chance on me. I would reward that trust, because I’d be with the woman I love. I would finally be complete with my soulmate close.

So a happy employee that’s never late, doesn’t like to miss time (hates being home sick), highly motivated to do quality work and grateful to the company that hires him. Pay me a living wage and add in health benefits and you got me.

But can I find a job in Germany? Nope.

Don’t get my wrong, I love the job I have here in Austin. I like my bosses and the people I work with. But my heart is owned by Raven and until I’m with her, I’m not complete.

So what’s in a name? (resolved – sort of)

I can’t remember names. Seriously. It’s awful. I would like to think that after 26 years working pre-hospital emergency care (a.k.a. being a Paramedic) that I just ended up with too many names to remember.

That’s not exactly accurate. You see, I never forget a face. I’m also one to remember how I’ve interacted with a person or intimate details that the person has told me about their life, and their family, and children, etc. So I can meet someone and ask them if their daughter got to go to the college she was hoping to get accepted to, etc. But I can’t remember the name.

If I’m alone this isn’t an issue. When Raven is standing there it’s sort of a problem. I can’t very well introduce her to Mr. Idunnowhothispersonis now can I?

It’s also fun when I’m trying to tell her something. She sits there while I give information and then butcher the name (provided I even try to remember it).

It’s not like Raven doesn’t exact revenge for this shortcoming of mine (of course). She will ask me – ME – “Do you remember the name of that person that (insert what happened here)?” just for grins. Or maybe she’ll say “Bill and Mary from work wanted to have us over for dinner. What do you think?”

Uh-huh. On a good day (for me) I can try and escape with a “Aww, your cats are so cute! Come look at this!” or ask how her brother is doing at work (Yes, I can remember his name). Once she goes for the direct question though I’m screwed to the wall. Maybe if she tossed in that Bill and Mary are the ones with the hyperactive brat that never wipes his nose, I would know enough to say “Gee, I think I’m gonna be sick that day” or something appropriate.

It also works in Raven’s favor that her friends speak German and I don’t yet. They could be calling me all sorts of vile things with a smile and I won’t know it until I learn German. Even if I remember what was said, I won’t remember the name so who the hell will I be mad at?

All in all, this is one that I have to concede that I’m horrid, and also applaud Raven for accepting this shortcoming with grace, except for those times when she wants to torture me with a reminder of said shortcoming.

Mornings (ongoing)

I am a morning person.

That is, I get up and I’m awake. I also get up before my alarm goes off, and for me that means a natural wake-up around 4:30am. Raven isn’t a morning person. I think if the normal “day” for people started around noon, she’d be happy.

I tend to be a little frisky in the morning, which has led to her making assorted threats of dismemberment. (Thus endeth my ideas about Wake-up Sex)

She views my “morningness” as an abomination, and the fact that I don’t need coffee to start my engine an affront to Nature. Mind you, when we’re together she doesn’t complain about me being up early and feeding the cats – so they don’t bother her – one little bit.

Raven really isn’t an evil person, and after she’s awake (I use that term loosely here) and had her coffee and some time to fully come around is quite wonderful, and once the growling and dark stares stop is fun to cuddle with. As great a fault my being a Morning Person is, she still loves me. Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner I guess eh?